And maybe I am, but it excites me…

Four years ago I came to the Sunshine Coast, a scared, co-dependent girl chasing a lover that never truly knew or accepted me.

In a few days, I move to the Northern Rivers. A single, fierce woman ready to leave her legacy on the world. From the stories I’ve told them, my friends think I’m joining a sex cult. Maybe I am, but it kind of excites me.

A lot has happened in the last four years to get me to this point, so let’s backtrack a little.

2020 — the year that turned my world upside down

I’m sure many people can relate to this. Prior to 2020 I was feeling somewhat trapped. I had moved to the Sunshine Coast with my boyfriend but our relationship was pretty toxic.

He worked away a lot. I hadn’t really connected with any friends on the coast no matter how hard I tried. Was lonely, miserable, ate my feelings, and really didn’t like my life. I was travelling a lot but mostly as a form of escapism.

When the world closed down in 2020, at first I was devastated. Where was I going to find my satisfaction? We had holidays booked, overseas weddings to attend, business conferences in the US. But all of that had to be cancelled.

My boyfriend got stuck interstate for months and I was actually relieved. This was when I realised how much I’d been forcing a relationship that had long ago died. I was just too afraid to leave for fear of being alone and because I had become so financially dependent on him, I really didn’t know how I was going to survive on my own.

Thankfully that year also gifted me a way out, in the form of government incentives and early access to my super. I hate to be that girl that relied on the government, especially when I’m such a preacher of ‘fucking the system’. But at the time it was exactly what I needed to invest in myself again and start to do the inner work I was desperately seeking.

A few months prior I had completely given up on myself and my business. My environment and the people in my life beat me down enough to the point where I lost all belief in myself. Really, they were just reflecting back how I felt internally at the time.

So I feel like I called in exactly what I needed in 2020.

A chance for a refresh. I wanted a way out of my job and my relationship. I wanted a new life. But I was too scared to admit it. So Covid gave me an easy way out.

I decided to finally take back from the system that I had always felt so used by. Especially after 10 years of corporate ladder climbing. I used some of that money to invest in a business coaching program. But it was far more than that. It was shadow work, sexuality work, embodiment, and so much more. It was during this time that I had a deeper spiritual awakening and really started to come to terms with how our world works and what I wanted my place to be in it. I started to rebuild my business, regain my confidence, and began to feel like myself again.

I didn’t want to waste any more time in a loveless relationship, sacrificing myself for someone else. We hadn’t even seen each other for most of the year and hadn’t had sex in months. So by the end of 2020 I called it quits and started to find my community on the Sunshine Coast. 

2021 — the year of multiple deaths and rebirths

Last year was all about recreating who I was. After the intensity of 2020 I desired to have more fun and light-heartedness.

Of course the universe had other plans for me. It was a year of constant deaths and rebirths. 

It started light. I was beginning to find my place in this creative community. Working as the social media manager for a local band, getting to be involved in the creation of music festivals and other cool events, parties, dance workshops, drum circles, calling in beautiful soul sisters, and forming deep bonds with soul family.

Whilst I had a lot of fun, it didn’t come without its fair share of trials. This was a year that really rocked me and made me question everything. Love, home, sexuality, business, money. Things I had previously felt so sure about were suddenly being turned on their head.

I unintentionally created more than a year of celibacy for myself (starting from early 2020 when I was still in a relationship). There were attractions that never eventuated to anything. I watched friends all around me falling in love, and whilst I wasn’t quite ready for that level of commitment I was craving sexual intimacy. But in a small community it felt like there was no one for me. I now realise I was choosing unavailable people because I wasn’t ready to release the protective layers I’d placed around my heart after my last relationship. 

But whilst I wasn’t receiving that sexual connection, I felt more love than I’ve ever felt before. Finding friendships that skipped beyond the surface level bullshit and got straight to the nitty gritty. In a short space of time we’ve been through a lot together and that has created bonds I know will last a lifetime.

I slept in my car many times, craving adventure and freedom. I crossed the border into Byron for work on multiple occasions. Sometimes I had places to stay, but other times I ended up sleeping in my car. In those moments I wondered if I could do van life? It’s something I had always tossed up and I loved the possibility of being able to drive wherever and wake up in new locations.

We create what we want right?

So after wondering if I could live that life, I ended up homeless for a few months. That made me realise how much I actually do desire a stable home base. I was couch surfing. Living between friend’s places. I was a mess. Having to swallow my pride, ask for help, and actually get comfortable with receiving was one of the most humbling experiences. It also opened my heart a lot more, gave me the courage to share more vulnerably, and forced me to dive into my emotions. To let people see me and hold me.

I experienced a whole new way of doing business. Early in the year I started working with one of Australia’s leading sexuality coaches. By the end of the year I wasn’t just on her team, but also started working with many of her friends. I’ve started to coin myself as the ‘go to tech girl for every sexuality coach on the east coast’. They say it’s business open relating and I love it. There’s no competition. All the businesses are separate but also intricately intertwined and it works so effortlessly. There’s a lot of focus on decentralisation, creativity, self pleasure, sex, the occult, and magic. For this Scorpio it has been such a breath of fresh air to find people that speak to the depths of my soul and are able to take me to the dark places that have always felt so enticing to me.

When you’re working in the business of sex and eros, naturally lines get blurred, but in a totally healthy and consensual way. I’ve self pleasured with my team, been naked in a spa with all the people I work with, finally broke my sex drought, have been anally de-armoured, performed in erotic ritual art, had my eyes opened to the world of open relating. And none of it feels weird. 

2022 — the year I move to a sex cult

But to an outsider looking in, I can see how it would seem a little strange.This is why when I come back to the coast and share stories with my friends, they get the idea I’m moving to a sex cult. 

Maybe I am… but this world excites and delights me. And whilst cults have been known to be quite bad, scary things. Couldn’t anything really be deemed a cult? Sports… So called ‘science’ lovers of our current times… Religions… Popular movie or gaming franchises… Technology…

Of course there’s extremes to everything. But when you actually look up the definition of a cult you’ll get “a person or thing that is popular or fashionable among a particular group or section of society.”

So yes, being comfortable with sexuality, working with magic and rituals, and being naked are all ‘popular’ within this community.

So by definition, I guess I am joining a sex cult. 

But if everyone was really honest with themselves and allowed themselves to dive into the truth of who they are, surely they’d see this is a part of all of us. And it’s in the suppression of our truest expression that we cause ourselves the most harm.

Which is why, every time I’ve ventured down for work events, I’ve felt more and more drawn to stay. I feel freer, I feel safe to express and explore parts of me that haven’t had a space to be seen before now.

Not too long ago this world terrified me.

I was so scared of my own sexuality. Found it all so taboo. I grew up in a Catholic family so having sex before marriage was frowned upon, let alone all the other stuff I’ve now had my eyes opened up to and been involved in. But denying who I am is no longer an option. I long ago denounced my religion. Dogmatic, restrictive, fear based sentiments to squash curiosity and expression are a big no-no from me.

There’s so much more I’m ready to explore. And the move has come about so easily. Proving it’s absolutely right for me. 

Stay tuned. I feel a Sex & The City ‘esque column coming. “My Adventures of Joining a Sex Cult”. Would you read it?

Finally I might actually get to live out my dream of being the next Carrie Bradshaw.

I’ve been told if it takes off I have to credit my friend Pottsy because he’s the one that started the whole “Jade’s off to join a sex cult” joke and now I’ve turned it into a thing. So here’s a little plug just in case that happens.