When there's drama in the coaching industry what questions does it raise about the workings of this industry? Are we finally seeing a shakeup and will anything change?

I started writing this days ago, the more I wrote, the more questions arose… and now I realise I can’t possibly cover it all in one post, so here’s what I’ve got so far..

Sooo… if you have anything to do with the online coaching bubble then you’d likely be across the latest industry scandal.

Hard not to when the algorithm is slinging post after post about it. And it seems everyone has something to say.

I’ve been watching, observing… probably getting waayy too invested. The drama sure is addictive. I guess that’s part of the purpose of social media… get us distracted in the latest drama cycle. But as someone who has been working in and around this industry for many years, I do think there’s a lot of important things being raised.

At first I didn’t know what was going on.. I saw a few cryptic posts calling out some of the behaviour. People commenting on “both sides”, trying to stay in everyone’s good books, only thinking of their self-serving interests. People calling out this behaviour and going viral for it.

Naturally I was curious so I looked through some comments, figured out who was being called out, and went to find the original “truth-telling” video. That video had a lot of engagement, a lot of people calling her brave, interesting commentary from the person who was being spoken about (a bit defensive and deflective in my opinion), others standing up for the coach being called to account… the typical stuff.

It was a 1200 person event, plus she has an even bigger online community… obviously there’s gonna be a looooot of different opinions and experiences.

What happened next was where it started to get really interesting… people who I had seen a few days earlier celebrating the event and glowing about their speeches suddenly started speaking out too. Sharing similar experiences of how they didn’t receive what they paid for. So naturally that received some attention around whether they were changing their tune because it was now the better thing to do.

Were their experiences genuine? Probably.. Were they just jumping on a bandwagon seeing that it got good engagement for others? Maybe. Some felt honest, some didn’t.

Then there’s the ones coming out from experiences years ago… these ones feel legitimate to me because while they may be coming out cos it’s a hot topic at the moment, they’ve also had time to sit with the experience, really get clear on what happened, and break free from the spell.

There’s also ones who did try to come out in the past and were shunned for calling out the shady behaviour, because at that time it seems not enough people had been burned.

Then of course the ones still deep under the spell, out with pitchforks to defend their illustrious leader.

The funniest to me is the new-age-to-Jesus peeps who started using the whole debacle to pitch why more people need to find Jesus.

It got to the point where over the weekend, I turned off my internet, went down to the water, and just played in the sea for a while even though it was raining. Because I had this moment of like OMG be so for real… you’re in Albania surrounded by this beautiful water, and you’re inside complaining it’s cold and doom scrolling. Oh how invigorating to step away from the online bubble and remember the beauty of the real world outside.

Like really put it in perspective… there’s an entire world that exists beyond that bubble that so many have decided is the entire universe. The water did wonders, but the thoughts were still churning.

Cos then there’s also all the industry commentary from people who are observers… like me. Commenting on the industry and patterns as a whole… and this is the part that I tend to be more drawn to. The genuine calls for reflection and introspection.

I was wondering, do I need to get involved? And after seeing some posts that bothered me I thought yes… because while I may not have been directly impacted by this coach and this event.. I have been both witness/rescuer, victim, and villain in various stories… maybe not on that scale or with that level of $$ at play, but as a participant in the industry there’s a lot of questions this whole incident raises.

And while this particular coach may just be the centre of the current news cycle… the patterns, the behaviours, the accusations, the lack of regulation… it’s all part of a much wider issue that does need to be looked at.

The Drama Triangle

Before we get into some of the wider questions this has raised for me, I want to draw attention to the drama triangle and the power dynamics that tend to play out in a lot of these circles. This concept was first introduced to me when I attended ISTA many years ago (the International School of Temple Arts) and is often referred to in coaching circles.

In this model you generally have three roles playing out:

• Victim - The Victim in this model is not intended to represent an actual victim, but rather someone feeling or acting like one. The Victim seeks to convince him or herself and others that he or she cannot do anything, nothing can be done, all attempts are futile, despite trying hard. One payoff for this stance is avoiding real change or acknowledgement of one's true feelings, which may bring anxiety and risk, while feeling one is doing all one can to escape it. As such, the Victim's stance is "Poor me!"

• Rescuer - The Rescuer's line is "Let me help you." The Rescuer feels guilty if they do not go to the rescue, and ultimately becomes angry (and becomes a Persecutor) as their help fails to achieve change. Yet the Rescuer's rescuing has negative effects: it keeps the Victim dependent and doesn't allow the Victim permission to fail and experience the consequences of their choices. The rewards derived from this rescue role are that the focus is taken away from the Rescuer, who can also feel good for having tried, and justified in their negative feelings (to the other actor/s) upon failing.

• Persecutor - The Persecutor insists, "It's all your fault." The Persecutor is controlling, blaming, critical, oppressive, angry, authoritarian, rigid and superior. But if blamed in turn, the Persecutor may become defensive and may switch roles to become a Victim if attacked forcefully by the Rescuer and/or Victim, in which case the Victim may also switch roles to become a Persecutor.

Source - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karpman_drama_triangle

How Do These Dynamics Play Out in the Coaching Industry?

If this latest scandal is anything to go by we can see how this goes… the very model that is meant to empower people and help them understand themselves, can sometimes be weaponised.

You have the seemingly untouchables at the top — protected by their money, power, and influence. They deflect back onto the people raising concerns and weaponise the “victim” to silence criticism. Every complaint or systemic issue gets reframed and put back onto the person raising concerns and in this way coaches can hide behind this psychology speak and protect themselves from accountability. Because no one wants to be seen as that person crying, making drama, or playing victim.

And when they do, sometimes they get blocked, kicked out of the group, get turned on, to the point where people don’t believe them anyway. In this silencing, it causes others to hesitate about speaking out for fear of receiving the same fate… and you don’t have to look far to notice other areas where this plays out in our society.

The “victim” is often framed as the ultimate spiritual or professional failure. Clients are taught that they create their own reality and must take 100% radical responsibility for everything that happens to them.

So if someone raises legitimate complaints about non-delivery on contracts, poor execution, being sold something that was all hype and no substance, not feeling supported, not experiencing results… it all gets put back on the person and is made an example of being in victim energy. In the end people start to doubt themselves, question their own version of reality, feel like they just need to do more inner work, invest more, aren’t doing enough etc… and end up staying silent because they’re afraid of being judged by their peers or coach as someone who is low vibe, just jealous, playing small, not leading themselves well enough, or operating from scarcity.

When someone does speak out about a bad experience, it’s often flipped back on them.. the coach refusing to be seen as a persecutor will position themself as a neutral guide forcing the client to look inward. There will usually be vague language or pushback onto the person getting them to go within — “Why do you think you attracted this experience?”, “What part of you wants to feel betrayed right now?”, “What’s the lesson here?” The person raising concerns is then faced with self-doubt and they become consumed with fixing their own perceived psychological flaws rather than speaking out about the coach’s behaviour.

The coach who was initially being labelled as the persecutor then gets to flip the story and become the victim in their narrative. They often build brands on being “rescuers” who save clients from their old lives so when a client (or in this case, MANY clients) speak out, the coach flips the narrative to claim they are the ones being unjustly attacked. This is exactly what we’re seeing playing out right now… The coach claims they were only trying to help, and that the critical client/s are now acting as malicious persecutors with nothing to substantiate their claims. The community rallies around the coach to defend them. The whistleblower is isolated, socially punished, and cast out of the group, which deters others from speaking up.

It’s exactly what we’re witnessing, except in this instance it seems the coach in question has made some really biiiig mistakes in her effort to protect her name. Which raises more questions… if she really had nothing to hide, if she really thought she had done nothing wrong, why is she doubling down on trying to defend and prove herself?

The Battle to Maintain Power and Control

Initially it all felt pretty typical — a lot of “he said, she said” kinda stuff. Mostly just about the specific event. But then past clients resurfaced to say they’re happy things are coming to light because they’ve been trying to warn people about their experiences for years.

The coach in question then went on to say she’s being defamed and wants to be able to speak to them… calling one out for blocking her, even though she admitted she had blocked this person in the past, but now that she unblocked her she expected her to just accept her advances.

Then, the point where she crossed a line for me… when she couldn’t reach the person she actually posted screenshots of private conversations with her and then also some of the recent event speakers. They seemed to have disappeared later along with some of her posts so it appears maybe she received some feedback that this was NOT a good move.

But the damage was done.. this action is now causing even more people who were neutral to question her ethics and leadership. Because if she’s willing to go to those extents and ignore confidentiality for one or two people… who’s to say she won’t do it again? And anyone who has also been in one of those dynamics can instantly recognise what was actually going on in those message trails.. so it’s not the nail in the coffin she thought it was.

As someone who has experienced that kind of scenario when I went to a past coach with similar grievances — they offered a program that was not delivered, I was meant to receive bonuses that I never got, I found out someone else on the team had been gifted it and I was being asked to pay in full even though I was also working on it. I had already paid majority of it and then was experiencing some financial issues — it was also around the time of the floods in NSW so I was dealing with losing my car and the mental repercussions of being involved in such a traumatic experience. I asked for some compassion to waive my final amounts to pay (never asked for anything to be refunded, just let me off the remaining balance) as I was also a team member who was being paid well below my standard rate at the time even though my initial contract had expired and I had asked to renegotiate multiple times and kept being shunned…

I was met with threats of legal action if I didn’t finish my payments. I was also uninvited from events and told if I resumed my payments I could come. Preying on my vulnerability to want to be included in the local community at a time when I was really struggling. I was told to book my wealth clearing which was one of the bonuses I didn’t receive in the beginning. At that point I didn’t even want it, but I was made to feel like I had no option. I went along to the clearing and came off feeling good… but when the spell of the session wore off I started to see how the power dynamics were playing out. I spoke to another client/mentor who I was close to at the time and he helped me to see this, so I cancelled my payment plan.

It resulted in me being shut out from part of the community, which did hurt, but in the end it was the right move for me. It was much smaller levels of money, but it’s the exact same dynamics playing out and that’s why when I saw this coach sharing private messages I could read between the lines of exactly what was happening. And it turns out many others had the same observations.

In fact… everything she has shared kind of just shows that her main priority is money, and that maybe she’s expanded waayyy too fast and her nervous system is flailing. She’s a hustler, I’ll give her that, but that was the exact thing that turned me off ever wanting to work with her. Like she was literally making sales posts from hospital when she was giving birth a few years ago and to me that’s just a prime example of someone who is living different values to me. I don’t need to build some 8-figure empire at the cost of losing important moments with everyone around me, never switching off, or turning every bit of my life into content. This is EXACTLY why I build systems for people — so they can have lives!!

Anyway, I didn’t mean for the post to focus specifically on her… I wanted to draw attention to some of the wider questions I’ve been pondering.

Is Pay-to-Play Ethical?

One of the main things that has been drawn to attention is the whole premise of paying to speak on stages. When it’s unknown that this is how events are being run and attendees come and hear from these speakers, most will likely be under the impression that the speakers are there because they’re endorsed and come highly recommended by the event host. That’s always been my impression of these events.. I genuinely thought most speakers were the ones being paid for their expertise.

In this kind of scenario… actually it’s more about paying to get in front of an audience, which apparently is a normal practice in the industry. I was never aware of it.. and then it raises another question.. if everything had gone the way these speakers wanted it to, would they be sharing any concerns? Would they care that they’re effectively misleading people by paying for their place on that stage? And what about the people who are paying to attend these events and end up walking into a big pitch fest? Is everyone just so hungry for their 10 seconds of fame, for the race to the top, that they don’t even think about who they might be hurting along the way?

Some of the ones who came out even spoke about how they didn’t really know much about the event host and still chose to pay $25k to get on her stage… so doesn’t that raise questions from both sides.. why would you be speaking on a stage without doing the right research before investing and associating your name with that event? And for the host, wouldn’t you want to do checks on the speakers to make sure they’re aligned before taking their investment?

It seems like there was lack of due diligence from most parties in that regard… one wanted more partners to cover her exorbitant costs for putting on such an extravagant show.. and the others were willing to buy a spot because they wanted the rewards of leveraging someone else’s audience.

Has all of this backfired on many levels because it was meant to expose the industry and call people into deeper integrity?

Theres other ways people pay-to-play too… from small scale things like buying followers on social media, to buying magazine covers, featuring in Forbes and the likes etc. When I was approached by Goss Magazine for my feature in their Bewitch edition I was skeptical because I thought it was going to be the same thing. I wasn’t interested in paying for a spot… but when I spoke to them and discovered I was being invited and only had to share on socials once the issue is published, it felt honest to me. I guess if you’re on the cover maybe you pay.

Something also to consider if you are going to be involved in that kind of thing, is who else will be featured alongside you. I felt confident being in the Bewitch edition because of what it was celebrating — witches in business. About a month after already having that article underway, I had another rep reach out to me asking if I wanted my story featured in a different edition titled Goddess and they were celebrating a certain manifestation coach being on the cover. That one felt like an instant no for me… I’ve never resonated with this particular coach and recently it’s also come to light that she’s in court for some pretty sketchy investment deals gone wrong. I wouldn’t want my story being featured in an edition with her on the cover.

There’s so many ways you could look at all of this. Many say, well it’s just another form of advertising. Same as running ads, or doing sponsorships etc. which I guess on some level makes sense. But I think there’s more transparency in those scenarios that the person has paid, so maybe if events made it clear that their partners are more like sponsors then it would seem more honest.. I don’t know.

Is Access and Proximity Really Worth the High Price Tags?

We’ve all heard something along these lines at one point or another… you don’t need to know what’s being taught — come for the connection, the community, the vibes…. hand your $$ over and just the energetics of being in the container will be enough.

It’s really just another layer of pay-to-play. And you see a lot of the same names continually joining the lower tiers, circling in the groups, looking for ways to leverage these already established communities for their own benefit.

Basically, you’re not paying for substance, you’re paying for proximity… and the closer you get, the higher the price tag.

They have the luxury branding, the sophisticated marketing, the high follower counts, the flashy money claims, the powerful rags to riches story.. and people eat that up.

How do I know? Cos of course I’ve fallen for the allure on many occasions. Not with this particular coach, but the one who coaches her, and others from her group. I wanted to be on their teams. I wanted to be in their rooms, in their businesses, in their masterminds.

And every one I had a conversation with about working on their backend was the same old story… oh I don’t really have the budget for that. But there’s always budget to LOOK the part of having made it… I started to see just how shallow this industry can be. They want people to pay them the luxury, high value rates, but often don’t even value the the people who are helping them to hold the business together.

The more I stayed, the more I realised every room just became an opportunity to sell you into something higher, more exclusive, more expensive. Each time I tell myself, oh at this level surely there’s gonna be more than just talk… every time it’s just a whole lot more long calls and no real teaching.

Different coaches, exact same experience… the higher the price tag, the less substance there usually is. And yet I’ll find myself on calls completely mesmerised, and wanting the next thing and the next and the next. They’re spell-casting and we’re all being hooked.

There’s seduction to the proximity. Get in these rooms and it instantly gives you credibility, connections, clients, status, belonging, validation… it could help shortcut your process and give you a sense of making it. A lot of it preys on our need to belong, to feel like we’re part of something, to not be alone in what we’re building… especially when for a lot of people who try to build a business, we’re often met with doubts, judgement, and misunderstanding from people in our family and friend circles. So we seek other places where we feel seen and heard.

But what happens when the vibes start to feel off? Then you risk losing a lot.. so do you keep staying because of what you might lose? Is this why so many stories only come out years after the fact? Cos it takes people a while to even realise they were under such a spell and they find it way too hard to get out.

Meanwhile — the best coaches I’ve had don’t do any of that stuff. Their rates are accessible, their programs have proper systems and flows and there’s actual course content to accompany our coaching. And at the end of the day, when shit has really hit the fan, it’s my family and long term friends that have been there for me when I needed help.

Coaching relationships can get really weird and murky, lines get blurred… we think they’re our friends, but at the end of the day when the contract ends and the payments stop… what happens?

Is There a Point Where This Business Model is Just Upholding Patriarchal Values?

So many people claim they’re in business to make a difference. But is buying big mansions, flying in private jets, and buying up alll the luxury designer bags reallly making a difference? Maybe it’s showing women you can succeed outside of the corporate world, but isn’t it just recreating that world from the comfort of fancy homes?

It looks like it’s giving people a new avenue to take control of their time and how they make money… but when that’s all just being put back into flashy marketing, ludicrous events, and supporting other luxury brands… what is actually changing?

Isn’t this just upholding the very system we all claim to be trying to change?

When did “building a successful business” become synonymous with accumulating as much money, influence, visibility and scale as possible?

I’ve sat with this one a lot. Wondered, am I just jealous because I haven’t made it. Some days I’ll find myself accidentally wandering into a designer store, I see the price tags and wish I could afford some of these beautiful items. That’s the one thing I miss most about my corporate salary… being able to buy whatever I wanted without blinking at the price tag.

But I look back at who I was when I was working at the bank and I remember a very unfulfilled and unhappy girl… she didn’t wind up on a psychologist’s couch being prescribed depression meds for no reason.

This is something I’ve been pondering a lot, especially since being back in Italy and the Balkans. There is more to life than all of that… I resonate way more with the culture here. The family values, the small community businesses, the way everyone looks out for one another… my approach to business completely shifts when I come to Europe. Here I feel like myself, and a lot of that pressure to “succeed” fades away.

The cost of living here vs Australia really shifts things too. And when I’m not putting all my extra $$ into expensive coaching, I realise I don’t actually need so much. As long as I can afford to keep writing and travelling, and supporting a few clients who I genuinely resonate with… I am content.

I don’t need to build an 8-figure empire, or have my name plastered all over billboards… sure it’s gonna be cool to see myself in a magazine, but even that has kinda lost it’s shine after all these months of being away.

There’s things I want to do that I know would be much easier if I had the funds to back me… buy land in Sicily for one, be able to put back into the local community, donate money to causes I believe in.. I’m not totally against money in that sense. I understand we need it in order to thrive in the world we live in. But I do wonder if there’s some threshold where we can say… actually I’ve got enough.. I’m going to give back now.

Is all this hoarding of wealth necessary when the world is on fire? Is sitting in a room encouraging more women to build 8-figure empires really solving anything at a systemic level? I just don’t know…

Does the Coaching-Coaching-Coaches Model Need an Overhaul?

Over the last few years I've been in a lot of the programs from one of the people at the top of the chain of a particularly well known group for female entrepreneurs… and yeah they're great for hype, for connecting, but at the end of the day (in my experience) nothing tangible is ever being taught... every program is just to get you into a higher tier and when does it end?

And then you see people who have been in her world… their branding starts to change, their language shifts, their slogans start sounding the same… and of course their pricing increases to match.

Which makes you wonder, how much of the industry is actually teaching tangible skills? Is the model just about teaching you to charge more and more and more so you can keep feeding the top?

You buy Program A. Program A tells you that you need Program B. Program B gets you into Program C. Program C gives you access to the mastermind. The mastermind gives you access to the room. The room gives you the opportunity to become a speaker. Then YOU can teach people how to get into the room.

You’re caught in a loop feeding the perpetual funnel, and of course the deeper you get the more it costs, so then you need to raise your rates to keep up, and so the cycle continues. And suddenly the ecosystem is eating itself.

The coaching industry creates coaches who then need to charge increasingly high prices because they’ve invested increasingly high amounts of money into becoming coaches.

Which creates the cycle: Buy expensive coaching → learn how to sell expensive coaching → charge expensive prices → sell coaching → use that money to buy more coaching → teach other people how to sell expensive coaching.

The industry rewards people who move fast… you’re encouraged to just fake it until you make it. People join a program, and before it’s even finished they’re already promoting themselves.

They see the shiny price tags attached to coaching and want the fast route to riches. I’ve been through this myself at times… it’s felt harder to sell my skills because systems aren’t shiny to people… and most of the time I’ve been in programs full of coaches and facilitators… no one has had the language or methods to teach me how to improve my business model…. so I’ve thought why not coach people instead?

I’ve sat through enough rituals, workshops, intensives, ceremonies.. I’ve done a lot of assisting on somatic practices. I’ve been through some pretty deep initiations. I tried for brief moments.. but it never really sat right with me. I don’t have any actual qualifications in psychology, trauma, somatics etc.. how could I possibly position myself as someone who could genuinely hold someone? Yet that’s what a looooot of these people in the online coaching world are doing. Everyone’s in a rush for the overnight success without even having put in the reps.

The sad thing is… a lot of people come into this world with genuine skills and qualifications, and they tend to struggle to take off because they’re not feeding the hype, they’re not using the flashy marketing, they’re genuinely trying to educate and support people, but it’s often just the better marketers who “win” in this online space.

Even a uni degree doesn’t cost anywhere near as much as the prices some of these coaches charge, and you walk away with an actual qualification you can use.. which raises another question.

Which leads to another important question..

When Did Studying and Real Qualifications Become So Looked Down On?

We’ve all heard the comparisons.. why waste 4-6 years of your life studying in some antiquated uni setting, when you could just jump online, do some quick courses and coaching and be set up to be making money within a few weeks?

Why go through the pain of getting a real qualification when you could get certified in anything you want in a weekend intensive?

We’ve been sold the idea that:

• you don’t need qualifications

• you don’t need formal training

• you don’t need years of experience

• you don’t need to be accountable to a professional body

• you just need your own lived experience and a good framework

• and then you can teach that framework to someone else for $10k+… the sky isn’t even the limit.

It all sounds great in theory… but is this need to speed up the process creating more harm than good?

You get coaches knocking qualifications, telling you not to get any, twisting the messaging. Because there’s some people that are chronically studying as a way to avoid actually putting themselves out there. These are the ones with alll the credentials who SHOULD be positioning themselves in the market. And then you’ve got the young, confident go getters with nothing to back them.. but they know how to work a camera, and say the right thing, and they’re raking in the big bucks.

Then you end up with cycles like this where the facade starts to crumble and people realise these types of people actually aren’t capable of holding themselves, let alone the huge communities they’ve built.

When did expertise become something we were suspicious of, while self-proclaimed expertise became something we were encouraged to buy?

There is nothing wrong with someone teaching from lived experience. I know plenty of brilliant practitioners who aren’t formally qualified in the thing they teach, and formal credentials aren’t a magical guarantee of integrity or competence.

But there’s a huge difference between: “This is something I’ve learned through experience and here’s what worked for me.” and “I am now positioning myself as an expert who can transform your life/business, and I’m charging you thousands of dollars for that expertise.”

The second claim carries a different responsibility.

Where is the actual craft? Where are the people becoming genuinely excellent at something? Where are the businesses making things? Where are the people doing research, developing products, building technology, creating art, solving problems, providing skilled services? Where is the substance?

What happened to respecting mastery?

Why do we put sooo much value on follower counts and money claims instead of actually looking at the essence of what people offer?

What if, instead of being in a race to the top, we actually focused on becoming excellent at something, creating something of substance, having enough expertise to responsibly help people?

In this way, reputation follows from the quality of work being delivered.

Maybe we do need to come back down to earth at times and stop being sooo delusional and entitled.

Maybe it’s ok to spend years learning something, to focus on obtaining some credentials, and spend time being an apprentice. Maybe it’s actually beneficial for us to become really good at something instead of immediately packaging our life experience into a $20k container.

I recently discovered an online university in Spain that offers a Masters Degree in Gastronomic and Travel Journalism. Of course I was instantly intrigued… it’s literally everything I’ve been saying I want to do — travel and write, and obviously I always talk about local cuisines too… so of course I was curious and requested an info call. I’ve since decided to enrol and it feels so good.

There was no hype… none of those butterfly feelings.. no OMG I’m investing everything I have into this so it HAS to work feelings… and knowledge that it is going to take real time to reach an outcome. 18 months to be exact. But there’s courses and modules, real teaching and assignments, and I get to walk away with an actual qualification that is an extension of the one I already have.

Sure, the path isn’t as glamorous, it doesn’t make as good a hook… but at least it’s real.

What Does Women’s Empowerment Actually Look Like?

A few nights ago I finished watching an Italian period drama (The Law According to Lidia Poët) about a woman in the late 1800’s who wanted to be a lawyer but wasn’t allowed. She kept practicing as her brother’s assistant and eventually in her later life she was deemed Italy’s first female lawyer. It was a great look at women’s rights back then and how much they really forged the way for women today.

I didn’t expect to be crying so much through it, but it’s just such a strong reminder of how far we’ve come as women. As I was reflecting after the show ended with this quote:

“This story is dedicated to those who can imagine what does not yet exist and find the courage to turn it into reality.”

It made me think about how it puts into perspective all this coaching industry drama even more. I shared these sentiments in my stories…

Why are we taking advantage of each other, just seeing others as ways to line pockets and make $$, fighting with each other, stamping on each other to rise to the top….. women had to fight sooo hard just to have basic rights and I feel like this industry that was meant to empower still carries a lot of imprints of upholding extractive, exploitative systems instead of actually being about women supporting women. It’s sad to witness how much wounding is still running the show. And it’s also understandable. We’re carrying so much integenerational trauma and forging entirely new paths….. but I love this reminder that we can imagine what doesn’t exist and turn it into reality. That’s the part of the industry I want to put energy towards.

Also since this is a show about law and ethics….. I’m just so glad to see that people are finally speaking up about all the shady stuff that goes on behind the scenes of a looooot of these businesses. If your business is built on shaky foundations and manipulative tactics, on harming and silencing others, if you’re consistently being called out for non-delivery….. don’t be surprised when the facade eventually starts to crumble. How about we actually do hold each other to higher standards and integrity.

Is kicking women who challenge you out of rooms, really empowering them or the other women who stay when they don’t get to see the full picture? Is telling one group of women to be silent, because it might cause other women not to “step into their power” celebrating the ones who chose to expose and shine light on often hidden aspects of this industry?

Doesn’t it empower those who are just entering this world to know what they might be walking into?

Final Thoughts (for now)

It’s clear I could go on and on and on about this… and every question raises 1000 more.

I don’t really know what the answer is to all of this. I don’t think I’ve figured out the perfect business model, or what the coaching industry should look like, or where the line is between ambition and greed.

There are still plenty of things I’m questioning. Read my journals… every day a new layer emerges.

But I do know that something has shifted for me.

I’ve spent a lot of time wanting to get into certain rooms, wanting to work with certain people, wanting to be part of certain businesses and communities. And now I’m paying much more attention to how people actually behave once you’re in the room.

What are they building? What are they contributing? What are they doing with all that money and influence? Who are they becoming in the process?

Because I think that’s what I’ve been missing.

I’ve been so focused on whether something looks successful that I haven’t always stopped to ask whether I actually respect what is happening underneath it.

Maybe that’s the lesson out of all of this… now deciding who’s right and who’s wrong… or landing on a villain and victim. We can all be all the things.

But really looking at what we choose to participate in. Who we put our name beside. What we are willing to normalise in the pursuit of success. And what kind of success we actually want to be part of creating.