fbpx

27 Lessons For My 27 Candles

hey there!

I'm Jade Scarfone.
A digital strategist and transformation catalyst, merging a decade of corporate systems mastery with a profound journey of self-discovery. From navigating the high-stakes world of banking to making waves in high-ticket affiliate marketing, I'm now dedicated to empowering entrepreneurs through strategic digital innovations. 

follow @jade.techwitch

Download my Tech Witch Tools Spreadsheet

Take the Quiz

these are a few of my favourite things

01.

Suck at graphic design? Don't let that be an excuse anymore. 

02.

Don't like your website? Over the DIY path. You can't go wrong here. 

03.

Ready to launch a course. Look no further than this all in one platform

04.

My favourite magical journals and planners

popular on the blog

01.

02.

03.

04.

search by categories

In the spirit of turning 27 and blowing out 27 candles, I decided to share 27 lessons I’ve learnt in my life so far.

FullSizeRender-7

Have you ever had one of those epiphany moments, an ‘uh-huh’ moment where something just clicked for you?

As I blew out the 27 candles on my 27th birthday I realised just how lucky I am.

Yes I might have a job I don’t overly love, but I’m alive, and I’m surrounded by love.

Life is actually pretty amazing and this is my year to shine.

In the spirit of turning 27, I thought I’d share 27 of my ‘uh-huh’ moments with you,

and if you’ve experienced anything similar, I’d love you to share yours in the comments below.

These are in no particular order, just the order they came to my mind.

1 – MATERIAL GOODS DON’T MAKE YOU HAPPY 

We’ve all heard the saying “keeping up with the Jones’s”. Pretty much since I started earning my own money (even before that) I’ve been competing with people around me  to make sure I was always up with the latest trends. I was constantly worried about being left behind and not having the best of everything. Throwing my hard earnt money around like it was nothing. Never really stopping to think what value these ‘things’ brought to my life. Truth is, very little. At one point I felt I desperately needed these things and they all ended up with the same miserable fate, to sit in a room collecting dust. Suddenly I got to a point where I felt suffocated by all my ‘stuff’, and let me tell you, this feeling is not pretty! It was like I was drowning and there was no escape. Thankfully I did make it out, but it’s only months later I feel like I can breathe again. I’m now more focused on collecting memories, not dust. I’m building a dream future, not a suburban house to fill with more stuff.

2 – MONEY ISN’T EVERYTHING

Yes money can buy a certain lifestyle and yes we need it, but if it’s at the expense of your health and happiness then it’s not worth it. I’m not saying everyone should go out and quit their jobs tomorrow because the money isn’t worth the unhappiness, but make a decision to do something better for yourself and take small steps towards that goal every day. Once you start leading a life you love, money and happiness will go hand in hand.

3 – GOOD THINGS DO NOT COME TO THOSE WHO WAIT

I’ve been lucky enough to attend a lot of motivational speeches through my current job. These have varied from famous sports personalities to entrepreneurs to life coaches and army veterans, and let me tell you a common trend in every one of these speeches, good things DO NOT come to those who wait. You have to want something, you have to visualise your goals, and you have to plan out how you will reach those goals, then you have to take action and put those plans in motion. It will be hard work but for everyone that has ever put in the effort, it has been worth it in the end.

4 – PUT YOURSELF FIRST

This may sound selfish but it took me a long time to realise you can’t be happy unless you put your needs first. You are the most important person in your life and if you’re not treating yourself right, you can’t expect others to treat you right. This year has been a lot about trying new things and really finding myself. I’ve travelled, done a yoga retreat, meditated, floated, used art therapy (those adult colouring books you see everywhere), joined self belief courses – you name it, I’ve done it. And I can’t stress how important it is to find the things that make you feel good and do them regularly. This is the key to happiness, not material things.

5 – LEARN TO SAY NO

This is something I learnt in the self belief intensive. It’s ok to say no. This was a hard one for me as I’m a people pleaser. I don’t like causing drama and I like to make things easy for everyone around me. From a work perspective this made life pretty difficult. I wouldn’t ask for leave because I didn’t want to put pressure on my team. I wouldn’t say no to extra projects because I wanted to help the people around me. I wouldn’t put my hand up and admit I needed help because I didn’t want to stress my manager. This is what led me to take on so much extra work I couldn’t handle and end up having a breakdown earlier this year. Thankfully I now know I need to put myself first and my boss understands how I feel and knows when to back down. Having an exit strategy also helps as I’m happy to put in more hours now, knowing there are much brighter times ahead in the not too distant future.

6- ONLY DO WHAT YOU WANT TO DO

This further extends on learning to say no but from a more social perspective. You know when you just want to stay home and chill out but you’ve already made plans with friends and you don’t want to bail because you don’t want to let them down, or you just don’t want to seem anti-social. Again, it’s learning to put your needs first, and people that truly support you will understand if you need to do this. You also need to learn to let go of the FOMO (fear of missing out) and only do things because you want to, not because everyone else is doing it. This has been a big focus of mine this year and I now enjoy things and appreciate people a lot more because I only do what I want.

7 – LEARN TO LOVE YOUR OWN COMPANY

I will be the first to admit, sometimes I’m a bit of a loner. I have an amazing group of close friends and a wider network of other friends. If I wanted to  I could be with people 24/7 but I don’t like that. I actually thrive on being alone. Not all the time, but at least a few times a week I like to do things by myself. If it’s going out for a meal by myself, sitting at a park, reading a book, going for a walk, listening to music, or sitting by the beach. Whatever it is, I enjoy this time, it helps me stay grounded and work on being the best person I can be. Plus if I enjoy my own company, I think others will enjoy my company more because, as the law of attraction goes, people like you when you like yourself.

8 – LOOKS WILL FADE, PERSONALITY IS IMPORTANT

Remember the saying, ‘don’t judge a book by its cover’. Well it’s taken me 27 years to realise this, but looks are most definitely not everything. I will openly admit I was the girl in the clubs that used to turn guys away just because they didn’t look a certain way. I spent years dating guys that all had the same look – tall, skinny and dark features – and got hurt every time. This year I met someone that didn’t fit my standard look criteria but I decided to take a chance and go for it and it turned out to be one of my best decisions ever. We just click and his personality makes him far more attractive than anyone I’ve ever been with before. Not only that, but I can truly be myself because I feel way more comfortable and not like I have to keep up an appearance. ***on a side note, I’m old fashioned and still read paperback books and I do judge them by their covers….but for the covers I really like, I always read the blurb to make sure what’s inside is just as good as the outside. Personality matters for books too**

9 – OPEN UP YOUR HEART

For so long I’ve let myself get hurt because I always chased the wrong people. It got to the point where I didn’t believe I was good enough for anyone and I decided to focus on loving myself instead. As soon as I did that I started to feel good about myself and that’s when opportunity walked right through my door and into my heart and I haven’t looked back.

10 – ENJOY THE SMALL THINGS

As the saying goes, stop and smell the roses. I used to rely on big moments to make me happy, mainly these were holidays. But also promotions at work, major events etc. Since starting this journey I’ve realised there’s more to be said for the people that can find happiness in the simple things. I now wake up happy every day because I literally stop and smell the roses. Flowers are one of the things that do brighten my day. But also coffee, sunshine, a good book, a nice meal, outings with friends, just talking to a friend on the phone. We live in such a fast paced world so these are the things we need to keep us grounded, and when you stop and look around, this life is actually pretty amazing.

11 – SMILE

Simple. Smile, smile and smile some more. It’s contagious. I’m not going to lie, obviously there’s still moments when I get annoyed, but rather than brooding on these things like I used to, I now consciously think about what has happened and tell myself to smile and move on. Turn that frown upside down as much as you can, you will thank yourself for it.

12 – TURN OFF THE TV

Unless you’re watching a documentary or something that will improve your life, turn that TV off. I cringe when I think of all the countless hours I’ve wasted sitting in front of the television. Hours that could’ve been spent doing something of value. Earlier this year I did a yoga retreat in Bali and one of the first things I noticed when I was shown to my room was no TV. It turned out to be the best thing for me. It forced me to be present in the moment and find other ways to keep myself occupied. I engaged in reading again, a hobby I’d long ago replaced with TV, I coloured, I meditated, I connected with nature and people, and myself. It was such an amazing experience. The first thing I did when I returned home was take my TV out of my room. I now only really watch movies as a social thing and aside from that TV is very rare for me. I’d much rather squeeze in something productive and use the few hours I get outside of work each day to contribute towards building my future.

13 – TRAVEL, AND DON’T STOP TRAVELLING

I don’t know why I didn’t put this one up higher but here it is. It’s true when they say it’s the only thing you can buy that makes you richer. I was destined to be a travel bug from the moment my parents took me to Europe, bright eyed and bushy tailed at the age of, not even 2. Since then I’ve been lucky enough to have embarked on many adventures but instead of my list getting smaller, it’s forever growing. There is nothing like the feeling you get when you’re travelling. Yes, it can be uncomfortable at times, but the way it makes you grow is just incredible. Even if you’re in your own city, don’t let that stop you. Try viewing it from the eyes of someone who hasn’t lived there all their lives and you’ll see it from a whole new perspective.

14 – STOP WORRYING WHAT OTHERS THINK

The only person you need to impress is yourself. If you’re happy the people around you will be happy and will see you as an incredible person. If they don’t, they’re not good enough for you anyway. If you have to work so hard and put on an appearance for people to like you then those people are not worth knowing. The people that really like you will always do so no matter what you say or wear or do. Find them and keep them.

15 – PEOPLE COME AND GO

Some people are your family and will be there no matter what. Some people are lifelong friends, your chosen family. Some people in your life were only meant to be in it to teach you a lesson. Some were only meant to be around for a little while and were right for you at the time. We all grow and things change. Sometimes you outgrow people. Sometimes life just takes you in different directions. Sometimes it’s sad. Other times it’s meant to be. It’s just a part of life. The one constant thing is that the people that matter and are most important will always be around, no matter where in the world you may be. They’re the people you need. Hold on to them and never let go.

16 – SURROUND YOURSELF WITH PEOPLE THAT ARE BETTER THAN YOU

If you’re the smartest person in a room, run! Find a room where people are smarter or more successful. They’re the ones you can learn from, they’re the ones that can push you to reach your true potential.

17 – DO NOT SETTLE

Life is not meant to be mediocre. If you’re not happy, do something about it. Sometimes things don’t go to plan, sometimes what was right for you in the past or may have been what you really wanted, just isn’t anymore. That’s ok, find your new passion and throw everything you can into achieving it. The worst thing you can do is settle for something just because it’s easy. You’ll only look back and regret it down the track.

18 – FEAR IS GOOD

If you’re scared of something it means you care enough about it to be worried about what will happen. The only time fear is bad is when you let it control you so much that you don’t take the leap. Use that fear to drive you, overcome that fear and you will exceed all expectations.

19 – BE HONEST

Be true to yourself and be true to others. A web of lies will eventually unravel. Sometimes you will have to say things you don’t want to but it’s better than holding back or lying. If people can’t handle the truth that’s their problem, not yours.

20 – TRUST PEOPLE

It used to take me a long time to open up to people because I wouldn’t fully trust them. Now, I prefer to open up to people from the start and in turn I’ve developed much stronger relationships. Yes, you will get hurt sometimes. But why write off everybody over a few bad experiences?

21 -THE OLDER YOU GET THE LONGER YOUR HANGOVER LASTS

It’s true. I swear it took me a full week to recover from my birthday drinks, and I still don’t think I’m fully recovered. Maybe it’s time to trade those tequila shots and dance floors for water and exercise.

22 – WATER CURES EVERYTHING

Drinking water is great for your health. Showering and bathing is good for your hygiene. Swimming is great exercise. The ocean is calming and soothes the soul. As do lakes, rivers, or any body of water for that matter. The ocean is also a great hangover cure for that matter, not to mention salt water is great for wounds. Get my gist!

23 – EXERCISE IS SO IMPORTANT

Your mind, body and soul rely on you to exercise. Your body obviously looks good if you are physically fit and active, and this in turn releases endorphins which make you happy and make you feel good. If you look good and feel good your mind, body and soul are happy. Not to mention, you can eat those delicious meals without feeling too guilty, also great for the mind and soul.

24 – READ 

As I mentioned earlier, I’ve recently re-discovered my passion for reading. Reading is so powerful, it’s food for the soul. I read anything from chick lit, philosophy, classics to self help. I love the feeling of getting lost in a good book for hours. A good story can literally take you anywhere. And a good self help book will have you feeling motivated and inspired. Anyone who is striving to improve their life should definitely invest in books. If you don’t like to read, most books will now come in audio versions so you can listen to someone else’s voice and be transported to wonderful places.

25 – LISTEN TO MUSIC

Life without music would be very quiet. Music can speak to me in so many ways and no matter what mood I’m in music will always lift me up. It’s probably even more powerful that reading.

26 – ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS

This one speaks for itself and goes hand in hand with honesty. If you say you’re going to do something, deliver on that promise, it’s so simple. And if you can’t do something, or don’t want to, just be honest. In the bigger scheme of things people will value your honesty a lot more than a whole lot of words you didn’t deliver on.

27 – VALUE TIME

Value your time and value everyone else’s time. If you set an appointment, don’t be late, it shows you don’t value that person’s time as much as your own. And with your own time, don’t waste it. You only get 24 hours in every day, that’s 86,400 seconds per day. Are you using yours wisely? If you value your time and want to take actions to make the most of yours why not click here and take a look at how I’m making use of mine.

Much Love

Jade xo

P.S. If you like what you’ve read feel free to like, comment, or share. Your time reading my post is greatly appreciated. 🙂

**Please note, there are affiliate links in this post. The services I have recommended are the services I personally use and honestly recommend to anyone wishing to start a business of their own. No extra costs are incurred for you; the referral commission simply contributes to bringing you valuable content. The links have changed since the post was originally written as I have now found a service that suits me better, and I believe will be the same for you.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.